Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.