On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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