You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
