This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize