Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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