I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
