Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
