i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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