do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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