what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
