i just sent this text using only my big toe
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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