put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
