Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
