Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
