Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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