he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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