did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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