She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think your dad took our porno
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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