Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You ruined the universe
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
