my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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