I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
