I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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