So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
