2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
