Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
