We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
