I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
