why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
