I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
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why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
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was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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