Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
