If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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