the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
