Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
