Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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