Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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