i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
