Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
