I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize