Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
