i need an iv and a liver transplant
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
