at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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