My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize