if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Michael Bay diarrhea
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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