You made me cry and you don't even care
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
