I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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