Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
