I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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