Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
