how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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