Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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