2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
