his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
