Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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