Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dear god my vagina.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
