She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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