If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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