so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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