u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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